This is a searing psychological study in progress.. The protagonists are well drawn, and the narrative moves very quickly. I like trying to penetrate their thought processes and characters. Both are mysterious, but she more so because even though one cannot help but see them as opposites, she is almost fatally drawn to him, but is he drawn to her? Or, is he just trying to get revenge on her and torment her for her unwillingness to convincingly stand up to him.
She has so little regard for herself as to keep trying to convince herself that he’s right in saying who else does she have, and how can she live without someone who is always there, even if it’s only to perpetuate a co-dependent and toxic relationship.
References are made to her dark side and commonalities with the man, but she knows deep down that she absolutely has to permanently get away from him and his seedy, manipulative behavior.
I find it difficult to fathom how she could have possibly been drawn to him in the first place. In essence, she’s only marginally stronger than he is, but that is enough to create a huge amount of tension and suspense as the plot deepens!
Glad you're enjoying, John! Coming back to fiction after 15 years was quite the thing. I struggled to get this story down but enjoyed the process nonetheless. I'd forgotten how ideas pop up unbidden in the middle of other tasks and necessitate dropping everything to either scribble them down or dictate them into a note-taking app.
To this day, I find scraps of paper with old writing notes on them from similar forays into the fictional world when I was younger. :)
You’re definitely back in the groove with fiction writing, and I would imagine it really helps that your writing group can offer guidance and tips.
Just a note: I noticed that some of your transitions were a bit abrupt as you make pretty sharp psychological comments or observations about the protagonist which seems to cry out for more context or explanation. For example, the references to the main character’s hidden secrets, darker side, life failings and setbacks, and the like. Obviously a very complex character they could be fleshed out more.
I think maybe I’m being a bit presumptuous critiquing fiction, because I never read it, even though I am trying to make some inroads in that area. Also, I need to be mindful that I’ve just read the first chapter so you may have already answered some of my questions.
Good writing! I also might ask if, for you, this writing is purely fiction, or whether or how much your own experiences play into the development of the characters. I have a habit of thinking a lot of fiction is semi-autobiographical. Just wondering…
Yeah, there’s a lot of nuance in fiction when it comes to how much to reveal and when. I aimed more to hint at things than shed full light on them with this piece.
I’ve also never done allegory before. It was an interesting experiment because the characters aren’t only themselves but also representations of things. In, as you observe, semi-autobiographical ways. The autobiographical bits in this one are purely psychological and spiritual.
I completely get it. I'm trying to learn about how to be more intentional with my writing. I know it will help so much in the long run. Just getting myself started is the hard part,lol.
I finally carved out a dedicated writing time every day. Sometimes it’s hard to get into it, but just having that space takes away the tendency to let other things push it off the schedule or make excuses as to why I can’t or shouldn’t do it.
I love that you have dedicated times to write. Distractions always seem to be lurking everywhere, just waiting to pounce. I forgot what famous author said this but he said he would go and rent a hotel room for the weekend, lock himself in, and say to himself, " I can write or not write, but I can't do anything else." What you said reminded of him. Having that kind of discipline is really admirable. :)
I can understand the temptation to literally lock yourself away to get some writing done, lol. And honestly, the discipline is learned. I'm not naturally disposed to having a tight schedule or doing advanced planning, nor am I good at avoiding distractions. I've read a lot of books and listened to many podcast episodes to help me get to this point! Indistractible by Nir Eyal, Deep Work by Cal Newport, and Digital Minimalism (also Cal Newport) were particularly helpful. I also like a podcast called Redeeming Productivity with Reagan Rose.
Hi Theresa! I just wanted to pop in and say you are a great writer! I've only had a chance to read just this part of the story but it is really good. It pulls you in, makes you feel so many emotions, and makes you want to stay around and see what happens next. Keep up the great work and can't wait to see what you write next! :)
Hi D. K.! Thanks so much for your kind words. This story has been quite the odyssey to write (and part 3 is still in the editing phase...😅). I'm glad you enjoyed part 1! And I appreciate you becoming a subscriber. 🙂
I see you're a self-proclaimed aspiring writer. How long have you been writing, and what's your favorite thing to write?
Anytime! I really enjoy your work. :) I started writing a little over a year ago, but I only started my blog a month ago. I'm in the process of writing my first book, a fictional story about one mans journey to find himself. My blog is completely different though. I write about art, music, culture, or just whatever random thing comes to mind. I'm interested in so many things, I couldn't pick just one, so I write about everything,lol. How long have you been writing and what are your favorite things to write about? :)
Hey, if you like a lot of things, go for it! I'm also very multi-topical (is that a word?). I actually write long-form content for a living, so I get a chance to explore a ton of topics from functional mushrooms to software to Web3!
For personal writing, I enjoy essays like the ones I've posted here as well as academic topics like theology. For example, I'm working on a 5-part essay series right now about creativity from a Biblical perspective.
HI Theresa! Sorry it took me so long to write back. That is so cool that you are writing an essay about creativity from a biblical perspective! I love both art and the bible, so I would love to hear more about that! :) Also, functional mushrooms sounds really interesting. I've never heard of that before. I bet it's a lot of fun to explore so many different topics and write about them. Sounds fun! :) By the way, your story on Christmas cookies was so beautiful and heartfelt. Thought it was the perfect story for the holidays.
I’m thinking about editing/polishing the first part of that essay and starting to post the series once I’m done posting this story. 🙂 It’s a lot to dig into! I know that I could spend tons of time chasing rabbit trails, so I’m trying to be intentional about focus for each part of the series.
This is a searing psychological study in progress.. The protagonists are well drawn, and the narrative moves very quickly. I like trying to penetrate their thought processes and characters. Both are mysterious, but she more so because even though one cannot help but see them as opposites, she is almost fatally drawn to him, but is he drawn to her? Or, is he just trying to get revenge on her and torment her for her unwillingness to convincingly stand up to him.
She has so little regard for herself as to keep trying to convince herself that he’s right in saying who else does she have, and how can she live without someone who is always there, even if it’s only to perpetuate a co-dependent and toxic relationship.
References are made to her dark side and commonalities with the man, but she knows deep down that she absolutely has to permanently get away from him and his seedy, manipulative behavior.
I find it difficult to fathom how she could have possibly been drawn to him in the first place. In essence, she’s only marginally stronger than he is, but that is enough to create a huge amount of tension and suspense as the plot deepens!
On to Part 2 :)
Glad you're enjoying, John! Coming back to fiction after 15 years was quite the thing. I struggled to get this story down but enjoyed the process nonetheless. I'd forgotten how ideas pop up unbidden in the middle of other tasks and necessitate dropping everything to either scribble them down or dictate them into a note-taking app.
To this day, I find scraps of paper with old writing notes on them from similar forays into the fictional world when I was younger. :)
You’re definitely back in the groove with fiction writing, and I would imagine it really helps that your writing group can offer guidance and tips.
Just a note: I noticed that some of your transitions were a bit abrupt as you make pretty sharp psychological comments or observations about the protagonist which seems to cry out for more context or explanation. For example, the references to the main character’s hidden secrets, darker side, life failings and setbacks, and the like. Obviously a very complex character they could be fleshed out more.
I think maybe I’m being a bit presumptuous critiquing fiction, because I never read it, even though I am trying to make some inroads in that area. Also, I need to be mindful that I’ve just read the first chapter so you may have already answered some of my questions.
Good writing! I also might ask if, for you, this writing is purely fiction, or whether or how much your own experiences play into the development of the characters. I have a habit of thinking a lot of fiction is semi-autobiographical. Just wondering…
Yeah, there’s a lot of nuance in fiction when it comes to how much to reveal and when. I aimed more to hint at things than shed full light on them with this piece.
I’ve also never done allegory before. It was an interesting experiment because the characters aren’t only themselves but also representations of things. In, as you observe, semi-autobiographical ways. The autobiographical bits in this one are purely psychological and spiritual.
I completely get it. I'm trying to learn about how to be more intentional with my writing. I know it will help so much in the long run. Just getting myself started is the hard part,lol.
I finally carved out a dedicated writing time every day. Sometimes it’s hard to get into it, but just having that space takes away the tendency to let other things push it off the schedule or make excuses as to why I can’t or shouldn’t do it.
I love that you have dedicated times to write. Distractions always seem to be lurking everywhere, just waiting to pounce. I forgot what famous author said this but he said he would go and rent a hotel room for the weekend, lock himself in, and say to himself, " I can write or not write, but I can't do anything else." What you said reminded of him. Having that kind of discipline is really admirable. :)
I can understand the temptation to literally lock yourself away to get some writing done, lol. And honestly, the discipline is learned. I'm not naturally disposed to having a tight schedule or doing advanced planning, nor am I good at avoiding distractions. I've read a lot of books and listened to many podcast episodes to help me get to this point! Indistractible by Nir Eyal, Deep Work by Cal Newport, and Digital Minimalism (also Cal Newport) were particularly helpful. I also like a podcast called Redeeming Productivity with Reagan Rose.
Every time I read this story, I love it more
Thanks, Russell. 💛 And thanks for all your help for comments on the drafts!
Hi Theresa! I just wanted to pop in and say you are a great writer! I've only had a chance to read just this part of the story but it is really good. It pulls you in, makes you feel so many emotions, and makes you want to stay around and see what happens next. Keep up the great work and can't wait to see what you write next! :)
Hi D. K.! Thanks so much for your kind words. This story has been quite the odyssey to write (and part 3 is still in the editing phase...😅). I'm glad you enjoyed part 1! And I appreciate you becoming a subscriber. 🙂
I see you're a self-proclaimed aspiring writer. How long have you been writing, and what's your favorite thing to write?
Anytime! I really enjoy your work. :) I started writing a little over a year ago, but I only started my blog a month ago. I'm in the process of writing my first book, a fictional story about one mans journey to find himself. My blog is completely different though. I write about art, music, culture, or just whatever random thing comes to mind. I'm interested in so many things, I couldn't pick just one, so I write about everything,lol. How long have you been writing and what are your favorite things to write about? :)
Hey, if you like a lot of things, go for it! I'm also very multi-topical (is that a word?). I actually write long-form content for a living, so I get a chance to explore a ton of topics from functional mushrooms to software to Web3!
For personal writing, I enjoy essays like the ones I've posted here as well as academic topics like theology. For example, I'm working on a 5-part essay series right now about creativity from a Biblical perspective.
HI Theresa! Sorry it took me so long to write back. That is so cool that you are writing an essay about creativity from a biblical perspective! I love both art and the bible, so I would love to hear more about that! :) Also, functional mushrooms sounds really interesting. I've never heard of that before. I bet it's a lot of fun to explore so many different topics and write about them. Sounds fun! :) By the way, your story on Christmas cookies was so beautiful and heartfelt. Thought it was the perfect story for the holidays.
I’m thinking about editing/polishing the first part of that essay and starting to post the series once I’m done posting this story. 🙂 It’s a lot to dig into! I know that I could spend tons of time chasing rabbit trails, so I’m trying to be intentional about focus for each part of the series.