15 Comments

Ah, yes! We're in a similar boat (we've already covered in Office Hours how similar we are!). I'm definitely in that space too where I'm just continuing to show up and see where it takes me. But this has been the first week where it's REALLY hit me that yes, I'm meant to be a writer!

I AM A WRITER.

And exactly the type of writer you're talking about (again, we've chatted about this!).

I love how God has led you here. I'm working on my own relationship with Him myself.

I love how you spoke about Him, it's a great reminder to spend some quality time with Him again.

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I must admit that I'm finding it scary to put all this into practice! I keep going around in circles of confidence and uncertainty. It's weird how it feels so frightening now that I know it's what I'm supposed to do versus just rolling with the writer vibes when I was younger.

What brought you to the point of being confident in your writer status this week? :)

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We've gotta embrace the baby steps and give ourselves grace when our narratives about our abilities falter! I completely understand, though.

Something just clicked this week! I think a BIG thing that's helped is having a handful of people cheering me on here on Substack. Receiving feedback feedback, praise, and even just engagement makes me SO excited!

And I also got two tips! That always makes me gasp and motivates me quite a bit haha.

But even with those things, it took a minute to feel as good as I do (right now, let's cross our fingers it's a more permanent stay!) but I think what also has been helping is just being in an environment (in real life) where I can embrace it.

I took a 2-week break cause I needed to experience life to have fodder to write, and to heal a bit more (not that I can check it off a list, but stepping back was even a first healing step ya know?). It really helped and made a flood of new pieces come to me!

Then just not having to caregive anymore gives me time (which I've been having), but the difference I think is the energy around it all.

I think I'm gonna write about it, but there were so many times where I felt I fought for my right to write, and even eventually was fighting myself. So it was like an epiphany! I am FREE! Life is too short to be scared and create fake rules anymore!

This took MONTHS to embrace this, but I'm here right now!

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"Life is too short to be scared and create fake rules anymore!" ❤

I'm going to take this line with me on my writer's journey, if that's okay. 😁

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I'd be honored! Haha I love that you love that! I like, *noticed* that I was making up all these rules that were stopping me and I had to break that mindset and... said rules lol!

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Isn't it strange how we wall ourselves in with rules that make no sense as we're attempting to liberate ourselves to write?

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Yes! I always forget, but I've heard that it's your subconcious trying to protect you from the unknown. You *consciously* wanna go after something, but the outcome being unfamiliar to your subconcious, it tries to find ways to stop ya.

Like I said, I forget about that whole thing I heard, so of course I forget to tell myself, "Hey, I know you're just trying to protect me but I'll be okay! Thank you, but I've got this now." ♥

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This is a remarkable statement of purpose and conviction about your future as a writer, and your growing awareness of what the real purpose and meaning of writing is, as your faith in God expands this life calling and finally gives it the purpose that was intended.

I learned 25 years ago when I first stated posting my personal essays on a GeoCities homepage, and later at the inspiring writing community “Open Diary,” starting in 1999, that the writing that makes you truly happy and content is that which you can pour your heart and soul into and not have to be concerned about acceptance or rejection letters from editors. Back I those early days of the Internet, I found a loving and supportive community of fellow personal diarists and essayists who wrote from the heart and commented on my writing from a depth and degree of resonance that frequently triggered memories from their pasts.

I enjoyed the thrill of daily bylines on news and feature stories, and personal weekly columns during the years of my newspaper writing career which ended in 1991, but this experience, satisfying as it was, is nothing compared to the deep, personal joy and satisfaction of writing for an audience that truly cared about me. I didn’t make a penny doing it, but that was never the point of Open Diary and now also Prosebox. I had a stable government job by day, and wrote at night, becoming an entrenched and proud Night Owl. It worked then, and still does, even though I now can write during the day since I’m retired, but still do the bulk of my writing, which is posted here at Substack, at night in the wee hours when my memories, moods and creative juices are flowing in sync.

I love writing, as I know you do also. You are on the right path, and the answers to your prayers seem evident to me as I can ponder your next steps in this entirely different world of writing in the Age of the Internet. As much as the Internet (or is is now written, “internet?”) reviled for sucking up all our time, it has created enormous opportunities, and has led me to write as often as I never in a millions years would have imagined possible, in those long-ago pre-Internet days before I actually had an audience for my writing. For that, I think is what writers also truly crave, readers who are in some way changed, inspired, or simply entertained by a deeply felt and beautifully written and crafted narrative, whether fiction, non-fiction, personal essays or poetry. Personal essays have been my creative outlet and conduit to a sense of freedom intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. And this will always be the case. I am so fortunate to be a writer, as are you.

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Thank you so much for this thoughtful, insightful comment, John! You brought me back to my early days of writing on the internet, as I, too, had an Open Diary (and then a LiveJournal). My foray into that world wasn't nearly so noble, alas—I was a teenager/early 20-something pouring my angst into the internet ether. 😅

Not that it wasn't without merit, I don't think, at least as a record of my personal experiences. It also serves as a way to bring me back down to earth when I find myself looking at the past with rose-colored glasses. There was always more going on than I remember...and some of it is value to include in the personal essays I write now.

I hadn't heard of Prosebox before. Interesting how online diaries and journals endure. I started with paper diaries, the kind with colored paper and personalized lock boxes that parents get for their kids. Then I moved on to composition books, which I still use to take notes and journal a bit. I'm also a fan of hardbound journals with integrated faux silk bookmarks. 😁

As for an audience...I still don't know what I want as an outcome for my writing. I'm not sure what God wants for it. So I'll keep showing up, doing the writing, and striving to please Him in it...to say things that matter, that may spark ideas or actions in others. It is nice to receive responses, but perhaps what I'd like to see more than that is impact.

Too grand a vision? Maybe. But we'll see where God takes me.

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Thank you for this, Sam! I followed the breadcrumbs here from Ungated and Rob Hardy, and I gotta say that I loved this piece!

Thank your bringing God into the equation and the discussion!

Your journey is similar to my journey and I look forward to seeing your progress!

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Hi Bill! Thanks for making the journey over. Glad you enjoyed this piece. :)

I'll admit that being more open about my faith has been a little scary. I'm never sure how it will go over, but it's the foundation of my life, so I can't *not* write about it.

I'd be interested to hear more about your journey, too. What brought you to writing?

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